Increasingly, research shows that older adults can benefit in myriad ways from the companionship of an animal.

Physical health benefits

Pets seem to help us stay calm in the midst of stress:

- Reduced blood pressure and heart rate. Some research shows improvement even when the “pet” is fish swimming in an aquarium!
- Strengthened immune system. One study found an increase in an infection-fighting blood factor.
- Fewer pain medications. Adults who had pet therapy while recovering from joint replacement used 50% less pain drugs than those who did not.

Mood and activity benefits

For elders living alone, pets may provide a kind of companionship essential to well-being. Older pet owners are believed to be more active than their peers. One study even showed that older adults with pets go to the doctor less often than those without.

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For most family caregivers, frustration and guilt are common, as is anxiety. These feelings are normal and reasonable under the circumstances. And it’s not realistic to eliminate negative emotions. Caring for an ailing family member IS emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss.

But you can avoid amplifying a downer mood. According to stress and coping research, you can reduce your distress by concentrating on the present moment, the here and now.

To interrupt the downward spiral

– observe yourself. Practice noticing your thoughts and feelings. Get curious about your emotions. Explore them objectively, as though you were outside yourself. Your thoughts and feelings aren’t “you”; they are one part of your total experience.

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For most family caregivers, frustration and guilt are common, as is anxiety. These feelings are normal and reasonable under the circumstances. And it’s not realistic to eliminate negative emotions. Caring for an ailing family member IS emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss.

But you can avoid amplifying a downer mood. According to stress and coping research, you can reduce your distress by concentrating on the present moment, the here and now.

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Source: SeriousIllness.org

Even those of us who enjoy cooking have days when it seems like just another chore. And when you are juggling the needs of an ill relative, it can be an even greater challenge to maintain enthusiasm.

Cooking for Caregiving recognizes that caregiving is love and that food is how we often show our love. The goal of this nonprofit organization is to present options that mean less cooking hassle for you as a family caregiver and healthier meals for your relative.

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There’s a lot to do after bringing someone home from the hospital. The obvious goal is continued recovery. But roughly 20% of older adults are rehospitalized within 30 days because of problems that develop at home.

Research shows there are three things you can do to prevent a backslide. It’s important to get going on them even before your loved one is discharged.

- Understand the new medication schedule. Meet with the discharge planner to review medications. Bring a list of what your loved one was taking before hospitalization. If any of these drugs are not on the current list, ask if they should be restarted. Review each new medication. When should it be taken? How long should it be taken? Any side effects? Have new prescriptions phoned in to the pharmacy before you leave the hospital.

- See the doctor for follow-up within a week. Find out what doctor(s) your loved one should see. Request that the hospital forward records to all of them. Before you leave the hospital, call the doctor’s office to set up an appointment for the next week. You may need to be firm with the receptionist and explain that your loved one has just been hospitalized.

- Know the signs and symptoms of problems. Before leaving the hospital, consult with the discharge planner about what to expect. Ask them to group symptoms as “green light,” normal recovery. “Yellow light,” early signs of a possible problem. And “red light,” a significant problem. Find out what to do and who to call in case of yellow or red light symptoms.

Focusing on these three tasks can significantly speed recovery and reduce your family member’s chance of rehospitalization. If you are confused about any of these tasks, insist on having your questions answered before you leave the hospital.

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It seems that the older we get, the more pills we take. Remembering to take them, and to take them on time, can challenge even the sharpest mind.

If your loved one has occasional memory lapses, getting into a good routine for taking medications might be all that’s necessary to stick with the doctor’s recommendations. Some suggestions:

• Keep pills in sight. Good places might include the kitchen table or counter, or a bureau top. Keep them away from direct sunlight by a window or a steamy room, such as a bathroom.
• Link with other habits. Work with your loved one to associate pill-taking time with other routines, such as morning coffee or brushing teeth.
• Use a pill box. Pill boxes organize daily doses for a week. The simplest have seven compartments. Others have two or three compartments per day for am/pm doses.
• Add an alarm. Consider a pill box or a wristwatch with an alarm. Or program your loved one’s cell phone to ring a specific tone when it’s time to take a pill.

More active support may be necessary if your loved one has ongoing memory issues. Among the options available:

• Automated pill dispenser. These dispensers sound an alarm and open a dispensing drawer when it is time to take a pill. Some can notify you if a dose is skipped. Check the federal government’s database of available products.
• Telephone reminder. For a monthly fee, your loved one receives timed, daily phone calls and an automated message to take his or her medications. Some services will notify you if the phone is not answered.
• Email or text message. MyMedSchedule’s no-cost service provides email or text reminders. Or check online for smart phone medication apps.
• Personal medical alert. Many home-based medical alert systems include an optional medication reminder service.

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Don’t be surprised if your aging parent reacts with some defensiveness if you raise the topic of driving skills. No one wants to have their independence snatched away! Make it obvious from the start that it’s a mutual goal to keep your loved one safely on the road. And that it’s not an all or nothing situation.

Here are several options for supporting your parent’s continued safe driving:

- Mature driver refresher classes. These classes are often sponsored by AARP or a local AAA club (American Automobile Association). Classes offer practical information on easy ways to accommodate the natural changes of aging[link back to natural changes of aging article]. They tend to be informal and include a lot of group discussion. Plus, persons over 55 may qualify for a discount on their car insurance! Online classes cost less than $20 and are offered by both AARP and AAA. Or, contact a professional driving specialist for a personalized, behind-the-wheel evaluation.

- Staying physically flexible. Being able to turn to look behind you is critical to safe driving. Encourage your loved one to practice simple flexibility exercises.

- Maintaining car fitness. Make sure the car is properly adjusted for your parent. Especially important is the ability to see clearly in all directions. The addition of wide-angle mirrors, for instance, can help reduce blind spots. Be sure the wipers are in good shape. Maintain the car for road safety, too. Tires should be properly inflated and have adequate tread. And don’t forget to have the brakes checked regularly.

- Improving driving habits. A few simple changes can greatly reduce the chance of problems. Suggest Mom reduce or avoid driving at night or in bad weather. Stick to routes and times with less traffic. Make fewer left turns. (Three right turns are much safer!) And practice extra caution in parking lots and when changing lanes.

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It’s a little known fact: men represent at least one third of family caregivers across the nation. In some respects, they are more likely than women to face challenges. But they are less likely to ask for or receive the kinds of support all caregivers need.

Researchers report a number of issues that complicate the lives of male caregivers:

* Household tasks. Most men face a learning curve when they take over household tasks (things such as doing the laundry or cooking three meals a day). They have to learn on the job.
* Personal care. When it comes to bathroom activities, the intimacy of personal care is especially challenging for sons. But even husbands can feel inadequate handling daily needs, such as fixing hair. When possible, men tend to hire others to do these tasks.
* Identity challenges. The mundane chores of caregiving can seem emasculating. And the inability to “fix” a loved one’s disease may feel disempowering. In addition, men in the workforce report feeling they must hide their caregiving role. A caregiving man is considered less serious about his career.
* Emotional demands. As a rule, men prefer to keep their world steady by avoiding talk about emotional issues. Meeting an ill loved one’s emotional needs can be taxing.
* Emotional losses. Men traditionally get their emotional support from someone close at hand. But that very person may now be the family member needing care. Men tend to feel less comfortable turning to alternative sources, such as support groups.

It is for these reasons that male caregivers are especially subject to isolation. If you know a male caregiver, consider reaching out. Offer to do a household task together. Working together may lead to more personal conversation. At the least, he, like any other caregiver, will appreciate not feeling so alone with the job.

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We all want to maintain our brainpower for as long as possible. If you are caring for a family member who already has memory problems, you may feel especially at risk.

The good news is that, regardless of age, simple changes in lifestyle can help keep a brain strong and resilient. The key ingredient is exercise for the mind and body.

Although adults can’t make new brain cells, we can make new neurons. Neurons are the connections between brain cells. And mental exercise sparks the creation of new neural connections. With more connections, the brain has back-up options, or “cognitive reserve.” And cognitive reserve helps a brain do better for longer.

Is a “brain game” the best exercise to help preserve clear thinking? Not necessarily. Brain games improve a person’s ability to do specific tasks, but they have not been proven to enhance a person’s ability to navigate the complexity of everyday life.

Instead, engage in mental activities that stimulate the brain to think in new ways. Consider these options:

* Volunteering, playing games, and doing crafts
* Attending lectures, theater, or musical events
* Reading, writing, and searching the Internet

What you want to avoid is repetition, and hours in front of the TV. The goal is novelty and challenge!

Physical exercise is also important. Research shows that people who are physically active stay “with it” longer. Aerobic activities such as walking, biking, and swimming increase blood flow, which supports the development of new neural connections. As with mental exercise, the upshot is lower risk for mental decline.

Beware of products that promise to delay or prevent diseases such as Alzheimer’s. Research has not yet discovered any “magic pill” or strategy. Instead, scientists encourage a focus on overall health, keeping blood pressure and blood sugar in check, and getting plenty of physical and mental stimulation.

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Perhaps you’ve heard of “adult day care.” Although you may be reluctant to consider it for your parent, research shows the benefits are undeniable.

Three basic kinds of adult day programs are offered across the country.

• Adult social programs provide activities, meals, and personal care.
• Dementia-focused programs are like social programs but are geared for individuals with memory loss.
• Adult day health programs provide activities and meals, as well as therapeutic and social work services. They serve individuals with serious medical concerns and/or dementia.

Most programs provide transportation to and from the center. The average cost is $67/day, although you may be eligible for assistance. (If your loved one spends at least 8 hours a day living with you and is financially dependent, you may be eligible for Dependent Care Tax Credits from the IRS.

Day programs create a win:win for you and your parent. Researchers report:

• Reduced stress for family caregivers.
• Increased quality of life for program attendees.
• Fewer dementia-related behavior problems over time.

Concerned that your parent will say “no”? Studies of dementia-focused programs find this is not a common problem. Still, follow these tips for a successful transition:

• Start slowly. Have your loved one attend for a few hours at first, then a full day. Build up to several days a week.
• If your loved one has dementia, new places and faces may cause anxiety or resistance. Stay with them initially to ease their adjustment.
• If your loved one does not have dementia, be sure the program has other non-impaired attendees.
• Discuss your concerns with center staff. They are experienced at helping newcomers fit in.

See our Community Programs page on adult day centers for more details.

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