Driving performance, not age, dictates when it’s time to curtail driving. If your parent is showing problems with driving, it could be time for “that” conversation.
Ideally, you’ve set the stage through candid discussion over the past months or years. Perhaps you’ve even talked about how others have handled this phase-of-life issue. Sensitivity to your own emotions can help guide you when you talk with your loved one. It’s better to acknowledge the sadness than avoid the conversation and risk an accident.
- Consider who should deliver the news. It’s typically best received from a trusted family member or a health professional. Choose someone who can be supportive and empathetic. If Mom is able, have her talk to Dad, or vice versa. If it’s your role, go easy. Expect to have several conversations. Show your concern for maintaining your parent’s ability to get around and participate in life activities.
- Practice using alternatives. Work toward zero driving. Have family members and friends provide rides more often. Make it natural by saying, “Let’s go shopping together today.” Join Mom in trying public transportation. Arrange for home delivery of goods and for automated bank deposits/payments.
- Work with resistance. If Dad doesn’t follow through with promised changes, you need to take further action. See if the doctor will set limits. Remind Dad his behavior puts others at risk. Impose family restrictions, such as telling him he can no longer drive when the grandkids are in the car.
- Be firm. If all else fails, contact your state department of motor vehicles and find out how to report an unsafe driver. This will trigger a driver evaluation. If the license is revoked but your parent continues to drive, consider disabling the car or “losing” the keys.
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Source: SeriousIllness.org
