It’s a little known fact: men represent at least one third of family caregivers across the nation. In some respects, they are more likely than women to face challenges. But they are less likely to ask for or receive the kinds of support all caregivers need.

Researchers report a number of issues that complicate the lives of male caregivers:

* Household tasks. Most men face a learning curve when they take over household tasks (things such as doing the laundry or cooking three meals a day). They have to learn on the job.
* Personal care. When it comes to bathroom activities, the intimacy of personal care is especially challenging for sons. But even husbands can feel inadequate handling daily needs, such as fixing hair. When possible, men tend to hire others to do these tasks.
* Identity challenges. The mundane chores of caregiving can seem emasculating. And the inability to “fix” a loved one’s disease may feel disempowering. In addition, men in the workforce report feeling they must hide their caregiving role. A caregiving man is considered less serious about his career.
* Emotional demands. As a rule, men prefer to keep their world steady by avoiding talk about emotional issues. Meeting an ill loved one’s emotional needs can be taxing.
* Emotional losses. Men traditionally get their emotional support from someone close at hand. But that very person may now be the family member needing care. Men tend to feel less comfortable turning to alternative sources, such as support groups.

It is for these reasons that male caregivers are especially subject to isolation. If you know a male caregiver, consider reaching out. Offer to do a household task together. Working together may lead to more personal conversation. At the least, he, like any other caregiver, will appreciate not feeling so alone with the job.

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With periodic flare-ups and dashes to the ER, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when caring for a loved one with a lung condition, such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).

The COPD Management Tool, developed by the American Lung Association, empowers you to help your loved one prevent crises through better management of the disease. Several simple forms guide you in communicating with the doctor so you are all on the same page. Best of all, the forms take the guesswork out of decision making on those days when symptoms start to flare.

The tool has two components:

• The COPD Management/Action Plan. Complete this one-page document with the doctor. The first section, in blue, summarizes your loved one’s current lung conditions and the doctor’s basic treatment plan. The “COPD Action Plan” section provides at-a-glance descriptions of what to do, depending on how your loved one is feeling. It groups symptoms into good days (green), bad days (yellow), and emergency situations (red). Review these descriptions with the doctor so you and your loved one will know what to do in each case.
• The COPD Report Card. This two-page form helps you give your care providers a quick snapshot of how things have been going since your last visit. Before a routine check-up, use it to summarize symptoms. During a flare-up, refer to it to describe recent symptoms for emergency personnel.

The forms take only minutes to complete. And once the management and action plans are in hand, you and your loved one will find it much easier to know what to do when symptoms get worse. Now that’s a plan for staying out of the ER!

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