For most family caregivers, frustration and guilt are common, as is anxiety. These feelings are normal and reasonable under the circumstances. And it’s not realistic to eliminate negative emotions. Caring for an ailing family member IS emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss.

But you can avoid amplifying a downer mood. According to stress and coping research, you can reduce your distress by concentrating on the present moment, the here and now.

To interrupt the downward spiral

– observe yourself. Practice noticing your thoughts and feelings. Get curious about your emotions. Explore them objectively, as though you were outside yourself. Your thoughts and feelings aren’t “you”; they are one part of your total experience.

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For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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Time off from caregiving is precious. But after a break, many family caregivers find they don’t feel as refreshed as they hoped they would.

New research provides insights about how to get the most from a respite break.

Common respite mistakes

- Unplanned time. It may sound good to “have no plans.” But that can backfire if you end up simply watching TV. You may feel you “wasted” your time.

- Routine tasks. Doubtless, there are chores and tasks to be done. If completing a task will genuinely feel satisfying, great. But you may feel cheated if you use your respite to do “more of the same.”

- Obligations. Watch out for self-imposed “shoulds.” Such as, “I should go see my niece in that play.” If theater is not your thing, you’ll end up frustrated instead of rejuvenated.

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For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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In some communities, nearly 60% of all patients and families facing the challenges of end-of-life receive loving support and compassionate care from a hospice organization. In our community, approximately 40% of patients and families are receiving our care.

Our goal is to help as many patients and families as possible. We know we can do more. With your voice, we can spread the word. By addressing commonly asked questions, we can raise awareness. Advocating together, we can reach more people.

There are many ways you can help Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, but simply spreading the word is one of the most valuable. You could help someone have a life-enriching experience because of the knowledge you share.

In whatever way you help, whether it’s volunteering, participating in a hospice event, or making a gift, simply telling a friend could be the most valuable way you can support us and, more importantly, make a life-changing difference for a friend in need.

No one should face end of life alone. Together we can do more. When people understand the benefits of our Programs and Services, we will reach 60% in our community.

With Hope and Appreciation,

Your Friends at Hospice & Palliative CareCenter

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We’re breathing all the time. But when it comes to stress relief, not all breathing is equal.

The body’s stress cycle

- Our bodies are built to handle periodic crises. When we sense danger, our bodies release “stress hormones” that enable us to respond powerfully and fast. When the crisis is over, those hormones are no longer released. The body returns to relaxed, “normal” mode.

- But chronic stress is damaging. When we’re stressed every day, the “fight-or-flight” hormones keep running. Not a lot, but enough to upset the body’s balance and undermine physical health and mood. The body is distracted from its routine tasks of repair and maintenance. This can result in significant consequences.

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For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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Source: SeriousIllness.org

Technologies abound to help us stay connected with loved ones. There are also many options to support your relative in living independently. Here are some options in the areas of safety and health.

Personal safety and home security

• Personal medical alert: Wearable devices that call for help. Most require the push of a button. Some can detect a fall automatically. Others can be used even when away from home.
• Fall detection: Video systems that scan the bottom 12 inches of a residence. This protects privacy but reveals if a person has fallen to the floor.

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This is not a unique story. It’s told over and over. Many of the details and most of the emotions are shared by thousands who choose quality end-of-life care at Hospice & Palliative CareCenter.

The power in Madlon Glenn’s story lies in the very fact that it is not unique. It is the same story. It is a story of caring, compassion and comfort.

Madlon’s Story
Madlon’s mother, Hawley Chambers, suffered a serious injury in January 2008. At first, her family was hopeful that she would survive, but after two months and two unsuccessful surgeries, they called Hospice.

“The Hospice nurse gently broke the news to us that our mother would never recover,” Madlon says. After accepting the care and support from Hospice, the family’s story of pain and despair became one of peaceful acceptance.

“Hospice knew what to do for her and for us,” Madlon says. “They were always so kind. And we were grateful for the option of having around-the-clock care at the Hospice Home.”

When Madlon and her brother, Thornton “Butch” Chambers, visited their mother at the Hospice Home for the first time, they were amazed to see her looking so well. “She was sitting up for the first time in two months, her hair was fixed and she’d had a manicure,” Madlon says.

But the intense level of care Mrs. Chambers enjoyed during her time at Hospice went deeper than a beauty makeover. “She was frightened in the hospital but not at Hospice,” her daughter says. “She was never alone and she seemed more relaxed. She was at peace.”

With Hospice’s help, Mrs. Chambers’ family members found their own peace. As Madlon tells the story, “Hospice makes the patient’s last days mean something and prepares the family to let go.”

For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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Soure: Winston-Salem Journal

By Annette Fuller
Published: February 09, 2011

Doctors’ busy schedules are no excuse for them not taking the time to discuss end-of-life care options with their patients, said Dr. William Blackstock, program director of the Comprehensive Cancer Center at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.

“Some of my colleagues do a fabulous job of discussing these issues with their patients,” Blackstock said. “But too many of my colleagues almost never have these discussions until the patient is seriously ill. At that point, they may be taking pain medication that can confuse them. We need to have these conversations sooner than that.”

And it’s not just an issue of doctors not having enough time, he said.

“There is a skill set to this,” Blackstock said. “We are not trained to do this. It’s not something that we emphasize during residencies or fellowships.”

That’s why Blackstock is glad that the American Society of Clinical Oncology recently published a 24-page booklet, available online, that advocates for more involved conversations between patient and doctor earlier in the process about the patient’s choices for care and treatments during his or her last few months of life, if treatments are not successful.

Cancer patients are “at different places” when doctors first bring up this topic, Blackstock said.

“Some want these discussions early; some want it later,” he said. Even if the patient puts off the topic, due to fear, “it is still the doctor’s responsibility to engage the patient in this discussion. It’s part of taking care of them, just as much as the medical treatment.”

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For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, contact Ann Gauthreaux, public relations director, at 336-768-3972, or see Hospice’s website at http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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There’s a reason rivalries resurface when siblings share in elder care. According to Francine Russo, author of They’re Your Parents, Too!, the trigger is an awareness that time is running out. It often hinges on the desire to resolve unconscious needs for parental attention. Perhaps it’s a need to feel as important as another sibling. Or to feel forgiven. Or to feel capable.

When old issues operate beneath the surface, the result can be lots of emotion and little constructive progress.

What to do:

- Check in with yourself. Are you overly engaged in caregiving out of the hope for approval? Or underinvolved because you were “the baby”? Recognize how your perspective may affect your role in your parent’s care and your response to your siblings.

- Don’t blame your sibs. If you feel that Dad overlooks you, you may be right. Your parent may be unfair. This is not the fault of your siblings, however. Similarly, if you are the “favorite child,” try not to abuse that privilege. Instead, look for common ground with your siblings. Acknowledge your parent’s foibles.

- Treat your siblings as adults. If you don’t operate according to old family patterns, your siblings are less likely to do so too. Meet them as they are today. At a minimum, agree to put aside sibling issues to focus on the care of your parent. Use the forum of a “family meeting” for discussion. Hire a facilitator if problems persist.

- Get support. You may not ever receive the love you want from your parent. Your siblings may repeat old patterns. Accept these realities if they occur, and find connection in other places. Try a support group for family caregivers. Or consider individual counseling for help in letting go of old hopes.

For more information about Hospice & Palliative CareCenter, contact Ann Gauthreaux, public relations director, at 336-768-3972, or see Hospice’s website at http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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Caring for a seriously ill family member can lend a tinge of blue to the holidays. It may be sadness that cherished family rituals are no longer possible. Or worry that this year will be the last for your loved one. Here are some ways to handle these common stressors.

- It doesn’t have to be “all or nothing.” Even if some family customs are no longer realistic, embrace what’s still possible. And let go of the guilt-laden “shoulds.”

- Keep it simple. Perhaps you still gather at Mom and Dad’s, but order a precooked, take-out meal. Or have everyone contribute to the meal. Try to capture the essence in a way that no one person shoulders a big burden.

- Focus on the most meaningful activities. Your energy and your loved one’s energy are limited! Pick one ritual that truly gives you that holiday lift and consider any others an “extra gift” of the season.

Acknowledge the “anticipatory grief.” You’re not crazy if pulling out your holiday sweater brings on a bout of tears.

- A holiday can sharpen awareness of life’s impermanence. You may feel grief about the losses you have already experienced. And grief as you realize your loved one may not be with you next year. These feelings are normal. If possible, share them with someone who understands.

- Celebrate your loved one’s presence. Trying to “make this holiday the best” may distract you from spending quality time with your relative. Instead, take the opportunity to cherish what you have now, and revel together in shared memories of holidays past.

Maintain your normal self-care routines. In this season of extra stress, it’s especially important to get enough sleep, eat sensibly, and exercise regularly.

For more, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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Dying at home, surrounded by family
Source: CNN.com
By Madison Park, CNN

Elizabeth Edwards died Tuesday, after doctors had told her further cancer treatment would be “unproductive.” She was at home, surrounded by people who loved her.

Next to picking a life partner or becoming a parent, there isn’t a more personal decision than how to die for those who get the opportunity to choose.

When the limits of modern medicine are reached, it’s a heavy consideration for terminally ill patients. For some, making the conscious decision to end treatment is tantamount to giving up or giving in. They worry about disappointing the people who care about them.

But one end-of-life expert sees it differently, noting that a growing number of patients are choosing hospice, so they can be made comfortable in familiar surroundings with family and friends close by.

“People in hospice don’t want to die. They want to live, and they want to live well,” said Dr. David Casarett, associate professor of medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. “They want to use whatever time they have to live the best way they can. I don’t think it’s giving up. It’s making a careful choice.”

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For more, visit http://www.hospicecarecenter.org!

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